Adjusting to Life

I've been an Alaskan resident for the past 2.5 months. May I say that life is different here? Sure, we still drive cars and not dog sleds; we live in homes and not igloos; I've never had an opportunity to eat whale meat; and they are just as panicked here about the swine flu as is the lower 48.

However.....

Every home either has a metal roof (I am living in a rain forest) or moss growing on its roof.

There are barely any heat pumps and almost every home has a large oil tank sitting outside for heat.

Girls still wear dresses to school but they are accompanied by pants underneath as well as rain boots.

My children have to walk to school on the main street and not the side streets as there have been bear sightings.

Every one owns rain gear.

Summer ended August first and, if the crispness in the air this morning was any indication, winter will be here in another month or so.

It rains. Oh, how it rains. I always used to say that Western Oregon didn't get enough rain and I have loved having more, but I had definitely forgotten the pervasive dampness and general overcast/drizzly days that are a normal occurrence.

Church is a little difference. We had our stake conference yesterday (a stake is a group of wards/congregations). Instead of just having a building FULL of people, we had a building full of people plus phone/internet connections to the outlying wards (Craig; Ketchikan; Whitehorse, YT, Canada; Gustavus; Sitka; etc.) Our chapel has two hardwired video cameras and its own A/V booth. I had forgotten how difficult it can be to arrange events with people scattered about and not connected by roadways.

"A Chicken in Every Pot" is translated here as "A Boat in Every Driveway." Seriously. Everyone has a boat. Which is great for our business, but makes hearing others' anecdotes a bit different than down south.

There are fish and crab every where. Spawned salmon washed up on the beach with their eyes plucked out. (Apparently it's the local birds' favorite.) Customers have brought us salmon, crab and halibut by the garbage bag fulls. (I have eaten so much crab that we have had to throw away leftovers as they didn't get eaten in time.) Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but when we went out to dinner the other night, I didn't order seafood and for the first time it had nothing to do with the cost.

10 miles is a long, long way to drive. Everyone avoids having to do so at all costs.

I'm thinking about buying stock in hot cocoa. Or maybe I should start up one of those MM companies so I can buy the cocoa really cheap. And soup. Because I seem to be cold all. the. time. My friends say I'll adjust but my heart tells me, "But I look at the calendar and I KNOW it's still supposed to be summer!"

The biggest change for me is the lack of friends (I have two) and even with the friends I have, lack of time to see them. I miss going to play groups and all those wonderful things that keep me in touch with the women in my life. I like working (for the most part) with my husband and dad, but there is something decidedly missing when you are surrounded by only men or children all the time.

The other problem is that we're still living with my dad in his tumbling down home. My concerns over safety are in the back of my head but the building's survived this long, I've gotten immune to the random inclines (the foundation is sinking) and just consider it to a good walking work out. However, my bedroom is separated from my dad's bedroom by a small, defunct bathroom. And, well, (cough) there are just somethings that should be heard by parents and children. Ever. But I'm afraid to ask if there's an issue. Ignorance is bliss.

Sunday Quick Takes

Because I've got a lot of little bits to share but nothing that requires a whole blog post unto itself.

I'm addicted to the ads for the new ABC show "Cupid." I generally watch my tv shows online (ideally when I'm folding laundry but that doesn't always happen). The song they play during this ad is so bouncy and fun, I just start to dance. Then again, I am a sucker for all things Italian.

*****

I think I finally get the parable of the 10 Virgins; it's only taken me 33 years but supposedly it's better late than never. I have always hated, *hated*, this parable as it seemed so horribly selfish. Yeah, yeah, I know the whole "but the oil can't be shared" stuff but it's always bothered me. Today was ward conference and our stake RS presidency chose to have the Stake President give us a talk (which I thought was incredibly clever of them - next time I'm called to teach a class, I'm just going to keep having guest speakers -- "Bro Soandso, I just felt so inspired to have you come talk to the girls. The lesson is #23, I've copied it all out for you. Have a great time; I'm heading to Hawaii.") The talk was on the importance of taking care of yourself and how this is of prime importance for each of us. Something seriously clicked (I think I even heard it). The 10 Virgins is all about the need for each of us to secure our own salvation, to experience our own life, to connect with God and fill our lamps with our relationship with Him. Yes I realize that this is along the lines of the blah blah blah I've heard before (just slightly reworded) but for some reason it suddenly clicked in my heart and not just my head.

******

And speaking of taking years to figure things out, I've been carrying around heavy bags and children's coats through all three hours of church for the last, oh, 10 years. Today, today I finally figured out that, HEY!, I could drop off the stuff in the car. Wow. And then I could just carry the stuff I need around for the next two hours. Wow! Who woulda thought?

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You know how we are encouraged to welcome and introduce ourselves to new people in the ward whether they be investigators, people who have just moved it or one day visitors. This is very hard for me; I like to hang by in my safe place but I work on forcing myself to be more congenial. Today I walked up to a lovely couple of women and introduced myself; thy are, I thought at first, new members of the ward. Ha!

I learned their names and one of the last names rang a bell, I asked, "Oh, are you related to the other Whatserfaces in the ward?"

There was that pregnant pause and she replied, "As far as I know, the only otheWhatserface in the ward in my husband."

Oh.

Crap.

I looked at her and, of course, made matters worse. "Really? Because you don't look familiar?"

The daughter (I think - see how well this stayed in my head) tried to save me, "Maybe it's just because her hair is pulled back."

Yeah. Time to cut and run.

"Oh sorry, I'm just a flake, not a brain cell in my head. Gotta go."

I think I'm going to go back to my safe place.

******

I have discovered Mafia Wars in Facebook and for some reason, this really appeals to me. Could again just be the whole, "I'm a sucker for all things Italian" even cheesy Americanized Italian.

Why Is It...

...that every time I'm a hard ass I totally regret it?

I'm a cub scout leader. The other leader, Jennifer, has been called to YW and works night shift at the hospital (she's an RN). We've asked that she be released from her scout calling due to conflicts in time, etc.

I'm moving so it's up in the air as to how much longer I will be here and be able to be a cub leader.

So last den meeting I told the other two assistants that they were going to need to start stepping up to the plate more and Jennifer and I were going to fade into the background.

Today I talked with one of the assistants. She said, "I just can't be a leader right now."

Now, I could have asked her "Why not?" or "What going on?"

Not me.

Nope.

I push on with, "Well unless you want to ask to be released, you're just going to have to be. Jennifer's got to go and I'm up in the air."

She started to cry.

Oh heavens, I made a sweet woman cry today!

Maybe next time I feel like being a hard ass, I should remember the operative word is "ass."

BTW, is it good or bad that my cuss-o-meter keeps increasing?

To All The Utah Mormon Mommies

Hey.

How are you?

Are the kids behaving today? Will they leave you alone for just a moment so we can chat?

Oh, good. Here, have some fabulous homemade hot cocoa (one of my best recipes I think). A little whipped cream? Oh, no, you look beautiful and you're visiting me so no calories. Fabulous, no?

Alright, let me grab my cocoa and sit down. Oof - ah, that feels good.

Okay, so here's what's on my mind. I have this friend, one of my best friends in the whole entire world, who moved to Utah, Lehi area, almost two years ago. The thing is she's not LDS. So, she's been feeling a little...on the outside. Two years and she feels more alienated now then when she moved.

I know! Shocking! I would have thought that by this point she'd have been invited over for FHE or for light refreshments or, at the very least, that she would have found some good, fabulous LDS friends because really, girls, we are fabulous women.

But, here's the thing, some people haven't been very nice. Again - shocking! What has happened, you ask? Let me share some events with you.

Her daughter's teacher was given a gift from all the classroom moms - no one bothered to ask my dear friend. I'm sure they thought they had talked to everyone via the church connection, but she doesn't go and so she got missed.

People constantly ask about why she only has one child and if she's going to have more (which is very personal and private and trust me when I say that she has good reasons - not that it should matter).

Her daughter has been called fat by some not-so-kind LDS kids. I know. Mine wouldn't do that either but it happened.

Her daughter was sent home from a neighbor's house with the statement (from the neighbor's child), "You're wearing spaghetti straps. That's not modest. I can't play with you. You need to leave my house." Yeah, I understand. We don't wear spaghetti straps and don't think they're modest but I don't think that disqualifies a friend. Don't you think? Yeah, I thought we'd be on the same page.

Some kids won't play with her daughter because she's not LDS. Oh, and here's a classic, "Why don't you go to church? You need to go to church or you're going to Hell!"

Yeah. I was speechless too. But it happened.

It's sad. I'm sad over this. Wanna know why? Well, I'm sure you'll agree, no one should ever be treated like this but also because my friend, she's seriously fabulous! She holds many of our LDS values dear: a strong love of family, love for God, a desire to be better and to make the right choices for her and her family, the importance of kindness and generosity. She is a wonderful woman and I'm waiting for the moment she moves back to Oregon so I can hang out with her once more. And her daughter (she's 6 by the way) is sweet, fun and playful. She would be a great friend to any of your children. My daughter loves her.

So, I'm hoping that we can get some people together and maybe redeem the word "Mormon" (which is becoming a 4-letter word to my friend).

What?

No problem?

Yea! I'm so happy!

Thanks for having this chat with me. I know it's hard to discuss such matters - we always hope that this sort of situation wouldn't happen - but I'm grateful for your cheerful response; I know we can make my friend feel more at home in Utah. I've heard from so many people what a wonderful place it is to live and while I want my friend to run home to Oregon, I hope she does so missing some of you wonderful people.

Ah, that was good cocoa. Would you like some cookies on your way out?

Oh no, it's my pleasure. Here, take a dozen - enough for the family to eat and leave your extras alone. (I recommend eating them in a locked closet to prevent any "I want some" whines.)

Have a great day!