The Arm of God

It's odd to me, surely one of those God things, how when I'm really struggling with something, everything in my life seems to start coalescing around that issue.

Lately, shocking I know, I've been struggling with God and trials and this move to Alaska (though I am dearly grateful not to be in 100+ degree weather). The last two weeks our Gospel Doctrine lessons have been about trials and the comfort/chastisement God gives during these times.

I have been trying to "Let go and let God," for some time; usually, I snatch it back as soon as I can pray, "Dear Father...." While I've learned over the years that trusting in the arm of flesh, even my own (perhaps especially my own), leads to nothing but disappointment, I still want a fleshy arm of comfort. I know that God offers comfort and I do receive that when I pray but there is still, at times, the hollow emptiness of no flesh nearby. While I frequently imagine Him rocking me and holding me, it is often hard to receive the comfort from Him that I am used to receiving from my friends. However, it seems that the older I get, the less I am able to get the comfort I need from my friends. I know that this needs to come from God Himself but I am unsure as to how to bridge that gap....

Does this make any sense?