Last Night's Dream

So those weird dreams I've been having? I finally remembered one. I guess part of the key to remembering them is to review the dream once you're awake instead of just trying to remember a "code word."

I was teaching a youth class at church. I walked in expecting the handful of students that I normally have but the room was packed. Everyone was sitting in little groups by tables and there was a hodge podge of youth and adults. Some of the people I couldn't really tell their age because I remember them from high school, which, clearly, has been a while for me. I even started to use a microphone because there were so many people and I wanted to make sure that they could hear me.

I started with a warm-up (because I'm a firm believer in those). I can't quite remember what the warm-up was but they were guessing REALLY random things. They started to get close with the idea of tithing (the word slips in my hands were talents - 10/5/1 and then Celestial, Terrestial and Telestial) but even when I encouraged them to continue in the money vein they went all over the place again. I was getting frustrated. Then music started to play.

All of a sudden, though I vaguely remember seeing it before in the dream, there appears this intricate system of stereos all tied together so that when one tape (yes, I said tape) finished playing, the other would start automatically. Some of those stereos were set to play LOUDLY! So I run around turning all those stereos off when who pops up but Dr. Phil. (I noticed him in the class earlier and quite frankly, his presence made me nervous like when members of the bishopric come to Young Women's and then stay to hear and to observe your lesson. Not a good time.) He starts to take charge while I'm dealing with the stereos and removes the tables and sets the chairs up in a typical classroom fashion. By the time he's done I'm down from a crowd (say 40-50 students) to 2 students. 2. I'm sure you can imagine my response.

I totally start crying and Dr. Phil starts teaching the class and I leave feeling humiliated and completely undermined. I start walking and notice some of the class students. I try and talk them back to class, ask why they leave and end up testifying to a few of them.

Then I woke up.

What a trip. Definitely not as fun as the Jennifer Garner dream, but hey, at least I remembered this one.

I think it all means that I am too immersed in pop culture and I need to start spending time with other things to keep Jennifer Garner and Phil McGraw out of my sleeping head! :)

Insert Lame Title Here

I was going to title this "Not much to say" but apparently I've already used that title. That's just bad form. But I'm sitting on my front porch on this gloriously sunny October fall afternoon. The air is warm with a hint of chill; the countryside is filled with color - glorious yellows, red and oranges against a backdrop of dark evergreen; my children are playing with the neighbor kids in what used to be our garden patch but is now a big empty space of dirt - perfect for digging and creating all sorts of worlds and adventures. And I am blogging.

How could life get any better than this?

I thought I would share a good moment as I'm so talented at sharing the less than happy ones.

I would like to share some funny moments - you know, try and join the "funny haha woman club" but it's Sunday afternoon and, like all good Mormons out there, my brain is comatose and I really just want a good nap.

I will say, though, that for the past month I have been having crAazy dreams - you know, the kind you usually have when you're pregnant (and no, I'm not). I wanted to write some of them down just for kicks (and because I thought they might make entertaining posts) but the only one I remember was one in which I was Jennifer Garner (Jennifer from Elektra or Alias as opposed to wussy Catch and Release Jennifer) and I was awesome and all this stuff was happening so I told myself to just remember the general theme (Jennifer Garner/Elektra/Alias) and I would be good. So, now that's all I remember.

It's like when I was a teenager and had a terribly romantic, happy dream that involved cowboys. I woke up, thought I should write it all down (but was too tired) and so I remembered the code word (cowboys) and went back to sleep. That's all I remember to this day.

Wow - I'm really reaching here.

We went to the pumpkin patch yesterday. I think my kids have reached that in-between age when they think they're too old to like such lame, little kid activities and not quite old enough that they realize the little kid activities are really all the fun things in life. They whined about posing for photos, "Look like you're having fun damnit!" They played in the kid area but only because they wanted to climb on top of the playhouses and climbing structures, "Sure kids, go play. No wait, stop climbing, be respectful, mind your manners and stop climbing on top of all the toddler toys." The pumpkin choosing process was blah and I'm sure only done because of the possibility of Mom letting them carve said pumpkins on their own with a knife. A large one. Because that would be manly. The tractor ride was stinky and they sat on the benches as opposed to the straw bales. They whined for ice cream and barely had any interest in the animals, aside from torturing them, "Stop chasing the ducks! Don't poke your finger in that cage, the rabbit might bite you."

It was a painful event for all. I almost found myself saying, "Have fun or else every one gets a time out!!" but I managed to refrain (although the rest of the above is true enough).

Maybe it's a good thing we couldn't take the family photo yesterday afterall.

Remember That Dresser....

The one I kept relatively clean for a week?

Look at it now sisters!

See what happens when y'all stop looking?

It's pitiful.

I may need to pull a page out of Suburban Correspondent's blog and give an update on my dresser each week. I have a feeling though that piles of paper will be less exciting than a mystery food shriveled beyond immediate recognition.

Political Ramblings

I thought I had decided whom to vote for in the presidential elections. I looked at my ballot yesterday (Oregon uses a mail-in ballot system for all registered voters) and I was stymied. Happily, I have the measures figured out (those tend to be easier than the candidates) and a few other offices. Some positions have helped in either having NO candidates to chose from (damn - I missed my opportunity! I could have been on the ballot! - Really that was my first thought on seeing the words "No Candidate Filed" for the Soil & Water Conservation Director. My next thought was, "What the heck do I know about soil and water conservation?" So I guess it's a good thing I didn't run.) or by only having one candidate as I make it point not to vote for those running unopposed unless I strongly support them. I figure they're winning by default anyway, so what does it matter?

The offices for President and VP have an amazing array of candidates (6) here in Oregon. Ralph Nader is now in the Peace party (did the Green party kick him out?), whatever that is, with Cynthia McKinney for the Pacific Green party, Bob Barr for the Libertarian party and Chuck Baldwin for the Constitution party (who is, by the way, endorsed by Republican Ron Paul - a little know Republican candidate for President but who had more delegate votes than Giuliani). And then, of course, Obama and McCain. It looks so plain and simple on paper, so much less colorful and strident than the conventions and debates but I'm still at a loss.

I don't know, must be the "maverick" in me but whom I want to vote for changes depending on whomever I'm around. At Time Out for Women (a conference for LDS women) the air was palpable with McCain support. I wanted to holler out, "OBAMA!!!"

At home, the yards are full of Obama/Biden signs. One home has the Obama logo painted onto their white picket fence. I want to buy the biggest McCain/Palin sign and post it in my yard. Heck, maybe I should just paint it on the roof.

I guess my problem is at the end of the day, I don't hear much in what either of them say beyond campaign rhetoric. They each try to convince me that they didn't make this mistake but their opponent sure did and how they will each be the one to save the US from our current crises but the other one will only make it worse.

Is it disrespectful to just hang my ballot on a wall and throw a dart? Yes? Damn.

I made a comment to Julie, my SIL, that I was wishing for the good ol' days when elections just seemed to much more cut and dried and simple. The other half of that is that I don't think they had nearly the amount of information available for perusal as we do. Is there such a thing as too much information? (Clearly, not in some of my previous posts.)

Overall, though, I am really tired of all the finger pointing (you know the old adage about where those other four are pointing...). Most of the campaign ads I see are all about how terrible their opponent is and few make any real statements about the candidate himself. I also get tired of verbose speaking that leaves the question essentially unanswered. I started to watch the debates but after half an hour of not answering the questions directly, I got a little bored with it and decided they weren't helping my decision making process at all.

So I'm stuck.

A friend mentioned that she was voting for McCain because she felt strongly against "partial birth abortions" which Obama has supported. I agree with her on that but I would be surprised if McCain actually did anything to make partial birth abortions illegal during his tenure. So should that really be the basis for my vote?

And there's this whole bailout thing - I didn't want it to happen but I concede that it may just have to happen to protect the economy but given that it has to happen, do we really have to pile pork on top of that? Seriously? I mean I love ham but has Congress been dealing so much with billions and trillions of dollars that a few hundred million become just pocket change? And I know Congress is not the President, but I just get so sick of Washington that I'm ready to strap on a few of those arms I have the right to bear and stage a major coup!

Exept I abhor guns and can't stand the thought of killing someone. Minor conflict.

I told you this was ramblings....at least you were forewarned.

That ballot-on-the-wall-dart thing is sounding better and better.

I Hab Uh Code

I was ready. I was going to write the happiest post, full of inspiring moments from my weekend in Portland when I got hit by Typhoid Sally. Okay, nothing that serious but I'm miserable. Chills, sweats. I can't breathe; even when my nose is clear I don't feel like I can drag in enough oxygen. I'm coughing so much that my throat hurts to swallow and drinking so much OJ that certain trips to the bathroom leave me feeling the fire. My nose is sore from Kleenex and my head just wants to be horizontal. Do you know how heavy a human head is? Heavy! Believe me. My neck can barely hold it up.

I could whine some more but I'm trying to be happy. See?

Yeah, I know. Fake happiness doesn't quite cut it. Suffice it to say that I am doing much better now (in spirit) although my body is bounding toward my grave. Sue may be hypochondriacal but I am filled with drama. Forget drama queen, I am the Drama Empress. Now you can say you know someone famous.

I swear, cheerful post forthcoming.

I bet you didn't know that my favorite Winnie-the-Pooh character was Eeyore did you?

I know. You're shocked. And awed too.

Nyquil...here I come!

Wet Rag

So I'm perusing Facebook and reading all the status updates from my friends; fun little pithy statements about photos, cartoons they've enjoyed, bug battles they are fighting, meetings they've remembered to attend, causes they are going to fight for, buildings not being up to code and hence, new washing machines that can't be used. Exciting fun stuff, even the bad stuff. It all just sounds so cheery and fun to be connected to their routine lives.

Myself? I can only think to add: Maraiya feels like crying. Maraiya is eating Key Lime Pie. (Which considering that my last status update was about cookies and such, perhaps may not be the best choice.) Maraiya doesn't want to do her dishes. Maraiya is tired of cleaning house. Maraiya is imitating Linda Blair in The Exorcist and screaming at her kids. Maraiya is mad at her husband. Maraiya hates selling her house. Maraiya doesn't think she wants to move to Alaska, to heck with what God and hubby say. Maraiya is ready to shoot her cat who insists on leaving body emmissions all over the house despite a clean litter box. Maraiya hates make fires in the wood stove and learning again how to regulate the heat so as not to turn her small house into a sauna. Maraiya is butt-tired, bone-weary and can barely drag up enough hope/energy/desire to blog other than to spew out more "life sucks" rhetoric.

Yeah, I'm really sensing that my friends want to read all of this in my status bar. It would just give them that warm-fuzzy-feel-good feeling.

And I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fit anyway.

If I weren't Mormon, I swear I'd be chugging a margarita or two or three or....instead, I'll just have more lime pie.

Miracle #27 Day 7

Nothing has changed (except I put away those extra articles). Overall, I'm pleased. Who would have thought that I could ever keep my dresser so darn clean for a whole week? Who would have thought that I would have resisted the public shame of a messy dresser and still refused to make Rhys' costume all week? Ok, the last is not quite so surprising but it's always good to reaffirm that I haven't been taken over by aliens.

Oh, and hey, Miracle #27 is officially D.O.N.E.

Oh, and BTW, no, the rest of my room did not become a piling place for all the things that would have rested on my dresser but I didn't leave there. Just wanted to make sure you weren't imagining this huge pile of STUFF on my bed that I would remove for the photo and then put back when y'all weren't looking.

'Cause I would never do that. ;)

Miracle #27 Day 6

The shame of posting my romance novels was too great and I found a new place to stash them. ;) Silly hairclip and mp3 player though didn't get put away. Also, see that 80's disk?

Last night, when Rob and I were on our date we wanted to see a movie but there wasn't anything playing that we were dying to shell out about $20 to see. So, we went to Target and bought a couple of movies and went home. My selection was Clue from the 80's and it came with a free CD with four songs: Lips like Sugar by Echo & the Bunnymen (completely admit to having to clue about who they are - maybe I'll recognize the song); Chains of Love by Erasure (loved them in HS); Need you Tonight by INXS; and Take On Me by a-ha (so, so happy to have this one). What a fabulous bonus to a wonderful film. The DVD lets me select either playing all three endings at once or having it play one ending at random. When the kids watch it, I can trick them by playing the different endings and seeing if they catch on.

Also, during our adventurous date last night, we exchanged the red dye I had purchased to color the white shoes for the costume and purchased, instead, red fabric paint; hence the two little red bottles sitting in front of the shoe box.

But the biggest change on my dresser is the lovely vase of sunflowers (my favorite flower). DH went to the store tonight because licorice was calling his name oh so loudly. He asked me if I wanted anything and I said no so he brought me home sunflowers. Yea. I love my husband.

Miracle #27 Day 5

I hope that everyone is finding this more scintillating than I am. I will say that all this posting has made me hyperconscious of putting anything on my dresser. Everytime I lay something down I think, "ooh, that will be in the photo," and then I actually take the time (like 5 seconds) and PUT IT AWAY! I know. What an amazing concept but, apparently, still difficult to grasp even at 33.

So, here's the dresser tonight. The notebooks are gone. Not because I went to the pack meeting but because I decided not to go and passed the buck to another leader. Actually, one of my friends, a surrogate mother, took my three children and her two young grandchildren for one big slumber party at her house. You think I would waste a child-free night on a pack meeting? Not on your sweet bloomers my friends! We ran errands, bought Ginger Snaps at Winco instead of Safeway (as they were $1.50 cheaper and my DH is addicted), went to dinner, ran more errands...went home and stayed up until 2am watching movies. I know. Not exciting but it was CHILD-FREE! Woohoo! I'm sad to say but I don't think this will happen too often up in Alaska. Sniff. Why again are we moving?

Anyway, so I semi-legitimately got rid of the notebooks only to fill the space with trashy romance novels and a Reader's Digest. I'm still counting this as clean though because you can still see a portion of the wood surface at the top of my dresser.

Miracle #27 Day 4

So, technically this photo was taken Friday night (or Saturday morning) and I tried to recreate the scene of Thursday night. So, technically, there should have been folders still on the dresser. But, I'm still good.

And, evidently, still sane as I haven't even touched Rhys' costume yet! Oh, but my lovely SIL Julie went to the Party Store for me and got some big cartoon hands, perfect for Mr. Hedgehog. Can I just say that I love that the "homemade costume" so far is costing me twice what the Walmart one did? And I even splurged on Quinn's and bought the "deluxe" version of Bumblebee (the Transformer - not the insect).

Miracle #27 Day 3

So, today I have made real progress although I think the dresser is messier than ever. (Well, in the context of this really, really clean week.)

The mending pile? Gone. I know. Amazing. I did my mending at 7:30am. (Did I mention my husband stayed home because he has this weird eye infection...I always feel hyper-conscious of his unusual presence in the home and thus feel compelled to work even harder - you know me and my soaps and bonbons - and thus I was mending at 7:30am.)

And the library books? I returned those too. I am so seriously fabulous. I ROCK!!

"But then, what's all this stuff on your dresser?" you ask in disbelief that I have really accomplished anything.

(It's okay, I totally get the disbelief. I'm thinking I'm possessed myself.)

The notebooks? Those are the game/activity for the Pack Meeting on Friday (I'm the local Cub Scout Assistant Leader- Yea.). That odd pile of clothing and weird bottle? It may not look like it but that, my friends, is a Sonic the Hedgehog costume. (And yes, I know that navy blue is not Sonic Blue but have you ever tried to find a sweatsuit that color? It cannot be found. At least, in my small town, in cannot be found. And this costume is costing enough without a trip to a larger town so Navy is the new Sonic Blue.) The bottle is fabric glue, the sweats are the body and there's a cream colored shirt for the arms and the belly. The box contains oversized shoes for me to paint red. I just need to find some big white gloves and I think I'm done. Well, then I actually have to do all that work. *sigh* I really wish Rhys would have just chosen to be an alien or a stormtrooper or some other kind of ready made costume. I love Halloween and seeing all the kids dressed up but I swear, trying to come up with and make those darling costumes gives me anxiety attacks!

Back on track....Everything else on the dresser belongs there.

BTW, if that costume pile manages to move off the dresser during this week, call 911 because that means that I actually made the costume already and that means, quite frankly, that I'm possessed or that my body has been snatched by some evil alien.

Miracle #27 Day 2

Okay, so, notice the Intuitive Eating book gone? Yes, I actually remembered to take it back to its owner. Shocking, I know.

And I had planned for the pillow not to be here as I started mending but apparently while I mended two holes, there are still more as Rhys is still finding those darn little beads on his bed.

And those books? They need to go back to the library.

But overall, I think I'm keeping it clean. This whole "knowing I'm going to blog about the state of my dresser" has really been helping. Every time I go to pile something on top of my dresser I think, "But no, then I have to tell all of cyberspace what a slob I am" (like you didn't already know) and I actually PUT IT AWAY! I know. Shocking.

Till tomorrow....

Miracle #27 Day 1

Still pretty good - only 6 more days.

Yes, I realize there is more clutter but it's good...so far. That small pile on the cars pillow is my mending (including the pillow) and the "Intuitive Eating" book needs to go back to my therapist, whom I will meet with on Tuesday.

Miracle #26

It happened. It took six months and the threat of someone wanting to see my house for it to happen but happen it did.

Can you hear the angels singing the "Hallelujah Chorus?"

Funny Ha Ha

Proof that even in the midst of a terrible, no good, rotten spell of existential ennui, God still sends laughs.