I Don't Understand My Man

I am emotionally high maintenance.

I get that.

And really, I've never claimed to be other. While Robert and I were still dating, before there was even a ring in his pocket, I warned him that I was emotionally high maintenance. He didn't believe me.

But now, after all these years, you'd think that he would understand me a bit and realize that I wasn't joking in the slightest when I warned him. In fact, I was probably underestimating my needs. Still, I would think that by now, particularly after these last three grueling years, he would believe me.

I think the man still hopes that one day I'll be less needy.

Last night, as I was agonizing over Robert being gone and needing validation and assurance that I am loved. (I know, I'm one of those women.)

I asked him, "Are you really going to miss me?"

To which Robert scoffed and answered with another question, something along the lines of "Are you going to miss me?"

Finally, after much wheedling and back and forth he said that he would miss me.

I asked the clincher, "Why?"

I think Robert was starting to think he wouldn't miss me quite so much.

He got quite annoyed and wouldn't answer the question and then I got annoyed and what I meant to be a sweet, simple conversation validating our relationship became a bit of an argument.

So he asked me why I would miss him.

I paused to think and he totally thought he won.

Then I said, "I will miss your presence in the home and being able to hug you and kiss you. I will miss talking with you and pawning the kids off on you whenever you get home from work."

Finally he gave me an answer and it was sweet. (I'm his best friend.)

But here's what I don't get, what's the big deal with me asking the "Why will you miss me?" or "Why do you love me?" questions every once in a while. If I asked every night, I could see how that would be greatly annoying.

But every once in awhile?

Isn't that part of being in a relationship, taking time to validate each other and reassure each other of our commitment and love? I look it at as saying "I love you" in essay form. Every once in a while, how could that not be a good thing?

Because every now and then, I do need to hear the answers. I need to know why he would want to be with such a crazy, emotionally high maintenance flaky girl.

Maybe it's just me but I don't get why it's such a big deal.

And yes, I am so emailing this to Robert.