#16 and #17

Last weekend I drove up to Portland. It was a perfect weekend. Sunny but not too hot and not too cold. Juuust right. I even escaped without kids. (Can I add that to my miracle list?) I visited an old friend and stayed with her in their new (read: they are currently moving into and lots of boxes) home and was able to attend the 2 year delayed wedding reception for another friend. (I wish I had brought my kids for that. Super Steve was there and he is a balloon artist like no other. He made Lulu a Princess crown, Quinn and Rhys light sabers, Rob a laser blaster and I got a tiara.) But the main reason I went up, sans kids particularly, was because I wanted to attend the temple. Given that we may move at a very indefinite date, I knew I had to take any opportunities that presented themselves as once I go north, those opportunities will be very limited.

I pulled into the parking lot and this was the sight I saw as I walked to the front door:

So beautiful!

How I love to go to the temple. I love especially the words "Holiness to the Lord. The House of the Lord." I feel great love and worship in my heart just gazing upon their inscription as I walk up. I love the quiet that pervades the grounds - despite there being several weddings being photographed outside. I love the peace that is every where and the compassion of every one around me. This is a place where I feel free to ask directions.

I also love that everyone seems trapped in their own bubble. This is not a place where I feel the pressure of making new friends or fellowshipping; it's like sacrament only enlarged. Every one is trying to commune with the Spirit, worship and seek the answers/blessings/peace that their hearts need. I love it.

I did initiatories first. I haven't done these since my first experience and it was amazing. I understand so much more about some arguments regarding women and the priesthood. But it was all the blessings that filled my heart. I listened intently and repeated under my breath, trying fervently to commit them to memory, especially as I don't know when I'll be returning.

I went through an endowment session. (Is it okay to admit that I napped a bit in the beginning?) But I loved my time there. At the end, in the Celestial Room, I wept. There were no big experiences like seeing my mother standing before me, but my heart felt odd. It wasn't the Spirit and I think it was my mom, loving me. I just wept. I can't explain it at all. I've never quite felt it before. But it was good. I sat there for a long time, just reveling in the Spirit and resting in Jesus. How I wish I could just set up house there and never leave!

As I left the temple, taking the photo above, it was with the feeling "This is why I'm a Mormon." It's not the only reason; there are a host of others. But the temple experience never ceases to fill me. I know that the words and the ceremonies are listed all over the internet and that others scoff at the rites, but the plain text or other things they list do not give the full scope of the experience. Nor can simply attending the temple, if you do not have ears to hear and eyes to see and a heart to understand. My first experiences were nothing like my current ones and I'm hoping the future visits will be even better. The Spirit is so pervasive and God feels so near. The veil is thin. I love to be there learning and talking with God, seeking more understanding and greater faith.

How I love the temple!

How grateful I am that my husband enabled me to attend despite watching children and fixing a bathroom simultaneously!