Okay.
So I like to think that I'm a nice kind bit of chocolatey goodness spewing love and in general just making the world a better place.
But I have to admit - the popular girls? They still make me nervous and feel like somehow I'm wearing plaids, polka dots and flowers all at once.
Every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday I take Lulu to catch a bus to preschool. Another mother there is always dressed professionally (she has a real job). Her hair is perfectly curly and blonde. Why is it always blonde? Make up, perfect figure, the whole nine yards.
Tuesday she was next to the bus saying good-bye to her daughter and I happened to glance at her shoes; one heel was thick and square and the other was spiky.
Oh. my. heck.
This girl - Miss Perfect who never deigns to even smile in my direction - had on mismatched shoes.
I snickered. I inner high-fived and then held my hand out to be slapped by a friend.
My inner chocolately self debated telling her but really, does anyone walk up to a perfect stranger and say, "Hey - you're wearing two different shoes."
So I just figured that, for whatever reason, she had on mismatched shoes and that she was okay and I had a vicious inner glow if only for a moment.
Today at the bus stop, Miss Perfect arrived with more peppish energy than I've ever seen and asked, "Did anyone notice Tuesday that I had on two different shoes."
She scanned the crowd.
Damn my I-cannot-tell-a-lie-self. "I did."
"I knew it!," she said. Then she weaves her tale of tripping over her feet all day because the heels were different heights (I started feeling very small for my inner glowing and high-fiving) and how she has joint issues and wears special insoles and figured she'd just forgotten to put them in (very, very small) until she figured out at 4:30pm, after meeting with clients, that her shoes were mismatched. And that yes, you should always tell a perfect stranger that she does in fact have spinach in her teeth or, in this case, that her shoes are mismatched. (I wanted to hide under her currently perfectly matched shoes.)
*sigh*
I think she'll be back to ignoring me on Monday.
But now, not only does she still make me nervous but I feel guilty on top of that for my less than charitable choices.
Damn perfect little blondes....
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"And though home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration." Charles Dickens, Martin Chuzzlewit
About Me
- M
- Holy rolling mother of emotional insanity...married to mechanical genius of a man...with three children: Raph (12), Q (10) and Eliza (7).
Quotes
We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. ~ Anais Nin
We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. ~C.S. Lewis
The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears.
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia . ~E.L. Doctorow
Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck
The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. ~Helen Rowland
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~Krishnamurti
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us. ~La Rochefoucauld
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. ~Johnny Carson
When I speak of home, I speak of the place where -- in default of a better -- those I love are gathered together; and if that place were a gypsy's tent, or a barn, I should call it by the same good name notwithstanding. ~Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby
Absolutes are never true.
We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. ~C.S. Lewis
The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears.
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia . ~E.L. Doctorow
Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck
The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. ~Helen Rowland
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~Krishnamurti
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us. ~La Rochefoucauld
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. ~Johnny Carson
When I speak of home, I speak of the place where -- in default of a better -- those I love are gathered together; and if that place were a gypsy's tent, or a barn, I should call it by the same good name notwithstanding. ~Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby
Absolutes are never true.
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So You Know My Humor Is Genetic; I Inherited It From My Dad
My dad's message he left on our answering machine last night:
*beep* A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder.
The bartender asks, "What's that?"
The man says, "Tiny."
And he says, "Why?"
"Because it's my newt."
Bye.
*beep* A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder.
The bartender asks, "What's that?"
The man says, "Tiny."
And he says, "Why?"
"Because it's my newt."
Bye.
My Favorite Joke
A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."
A Close Runner Up
A dyslexic walks into a bra....
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8 comments:
what i don't understand is why she would come back to the bus stop and ask all of you simply so that she could make somebody feel guilty.
i will self-censor the rest of my response.
in other words: the popular girls apparently never change.
Thanks Z - I'm glad you're in my corner.
Hahaha....poor lady! I hate to say it, but I would have noticed and would have told her. *blush*
I wouldn't have said anything. I would have just assumed that she meant to wear them that way because it was the new fashion trend, and I would have immediately gone home and created a pair just like it so that I could feel like I was part of the "in" crowd.
The "popular" girls do the same thing to me. Especially the skinny ones. Occasionally I will run into someone who was a cheerleader in high school, and even though it's been over 20 years ago, they still talk down to me.
I once went to church with two different colored shoes on. Fortunately, I discovered it before I got out of my car.
I think she missed the part about being adult and ultimately responsible for herself. Andy why not notice earlier that her shoes were mismatched with all the tripping? Besides, it's always embarrassing to tell someone they have something embarrassing on!! I have to put on thick skin to tell my friends they have stuff in their teeth. Totally know what you mean about the popular girls - one reason I don't snowboard (hate to admit that).
LOL! I wouldn't have said a thing! I would have let that dumb blonde wear her unmatched shoes to work only to find that they are all together different!! LOL!! I am laughing! I am laughing so hard! But, I do expect you to tell me if that happens because I am brunette & as you will know brunette is the ONLY color in the world!
Sniff -- it's so nice knowing you all were in my corner.
In my defense, I was afraid of saying anything because I didn't know if she was already aware of it (maybe she couldn't find the other shoe and was in a rush this morning) and I wasn't sure if she would have enough time to go home and change.
It's all a moot point now though because there's no more pre-k for Lu and I'm moving so I'll probably never see this woman again.
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