I'm Invited

I just received an invitation:

You are invited to JDHS Class of '93, 15 Year Reunion.

In 1993, Jurassic Park and Nirvana ruled, Beanie Babies were launched and Intel introduced the Pentium Processor. A gallon of gas cost $1.16 and you graduated from JDHS!

Yes, can you believe it's been 15 years? It seems like just yesterday we were cramming for finals, writing our Senior wills and posting photos on Koelsch's wall. Come find out what everyone's been up to, meet their spouses and kids and reminisce about the days as a Crimson Bear.

Please RSVP by Mon June 30. Food will be provided (Burgers, Garden Burgers, Brats and sides) along with soda and water.

Hope to see you there!

So yes, I'm invited back to visit with all my friends from JDHS, home of the Crimson Bears and the infamous "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" episode and law suit (though all that was well after my day) and I'm a bit nervous about accepting. The problem is that I am actually going to be in town on July 5th and I could go. But do I want to? Looking at the list of those who have already RSVP'd, there are some people I would like to see but what would the conversations be like:

"Oh HIIIIiiiii!! So good to see you."

"How are you doing?"

"Oh really? That sounds great!!"

"Oh yeah, me too."

"I've been well. Yeah. Went to college, got a BA, got married, got preggo and now I'm a SAHM. I have three kids. Yeah, they're brilliant......(Looong explanation about my fabulous children)."

"Yeah, um, okay, that's it."

"Yeah, nice to see you again too."

"Okay. Yeah, you have a great day too."

"Bye."

Replay about 20 times.

Is this supposed to be fun?

The other thing, I know that I'm supposed to be working on being brave and sticking my neck out and all that but seeing these people again - no, wait - the thought of seeing these people again is raising so much anxiety and self-doubt. I was voted "Most Likely To Succeed" and while I've been trying to convince myself that I am successful and that I have accomplished great things, I still don't quite believe it. I feel a bit like a failure in my own eyes and I can't bear to have that mirrored in theirs. *Sigh*

I may still go. I need to contact two dear friends who actually still live in Juneau and see if they are going to attend in which case I will go with them and they can help hold me up. If not, well, we'll see. I'm still pondering.