Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you for making me practice piano over and over again. Even more, thank you for praising my attempts to play and for encouraging me over and over again. Thank you for always saying how much you loved to hear me play and how it made your heart happy.

Thank you for calling my brothers "heartless dolts" when they were mocking me for crying at a movie, thereby implying that if they had a heart, they'd be crying too.

Thank you for answering all of my questions, no matter how personal (Mom, do you douche?) honestly and openly. OK, I never asked the aforementioned but I do remember asking you if oral sex was okay and that you didn't stammer or hem and haw and change the subject; you gave me a frank discussion about the subject.

Thank you for all of the homemade love over the years. I cannot count the ways your nimble hands have blessed my life: dresses, dolls, clothes for my children (including their beautiful blessing outfits), moccasins, sweaters, wall-hangings, sock monkeys and even a pink poncho (which will be Lulu's someday).

Thank you for so much love. I remember you constantly saying how happy you were that we decided to come and live at your house. I remember one of the "popular girls" in high school being astounded and disbelieving that my mother said such things, but you did.

Thank you for loving my dad and for teaching me how to have a good marriage.

Thank you for being so brave. I remember about a week before you passed as you were contemplating continuing dialysis that you wanted them to use your central line instead of your fistula because the fistula would hurt too much and you were a coward. You broke my heart and I wanted to scream to you that you are one of the bravest people I have ever met. You were sick all of my life but never, ever complained. You often thought of those around you despite whatever challenge you were facing. You were/are awesome!

Thank you for being there when all of my children were born. Thank you for taking photos of those first miracles (even at inappropriate angels) and for helping me at home when the reality of each new miracle became apparent.

Thank you for teaching me how to clean a bathroom, scrub a floor, wash dishes and make my bed. Thank you for passing on recipes for Chicken Divan, Pula and Octopus. Thank you for introducing me to the rule, "You cook, you clean;" unbeknownst to me at the time, my husband would also believe in that rule.

Thank you for letting me find my own dreams and for letting me make my own choices no matter how strongly you disagreed.

Thank you for your faith in and love of Jesus. Thank you for speaking of Him and not being shy about the difficulties in living life His way. Thank you for having the courage to have me and T, regardless of what those darn doctors said. Thank you for believing God more than anyone else.

Thank you for hugs, endless squishy hugs. Thank you for back scratches - every time it itches I still think of you. Thank you for your laughter and for all your songs; I wish we could have sung a duet together and you would have the soprano to my alto.

I miss you Mom. I miss you so much that sometimes I can't breathe. I wish you could hug my kids and tell them stories about life growing up in back woods Alaska. I wish you could sing me "In the sleepy treetops..." just one more time. I wish you weren't so far away. I wish I could email you photos and quirky forwards that I know would make you laugh. I wish I could just hear your voice.

I wish we had lived closer and that I'd never moved away from home. I wish I'd spent more time with you, just was you warned me oh so many years ago that I would. I wish...I wish...I wish for so much.

I wish you happy. I wish that today is a glorious Mother's Day for you. I wish that you are loving on your mother as much as I wish I could love on you. I wish for you to be smiling and singing.

I love you, Mom.